After calling to pay my first month's policy renewal fee (a day early,) I can honestly say I've never been so blatantly lied to, misled, and misinformed in the space of 18 minutes and 34 seconds, since I was taken to see the "real" santa clause aged 4. Having first argued against paying the already eye watering, lip biting, 'why don't you just take my blood' late payment fee, (a day early), it appeared that the co-operative were going to co-operate after all, and allow me to continue with my life, safe in the knowledge I was a legal road user. They however, had other ideas.
After a long, long, long wait on hold, the operator returned, (from what I can only assume was a crash course in scamming the customer), to inform me my policy was in the "irreversible" process of cancellation - apparently due to the direct debit being returned unpaid 10 days BEFORE the payment should have been taken. This, I argued, was not what my policy documents stated would happen. I was told ""the only thing I can do is get you another quote as it's just how things work", "it's company policy" (it isn't) meaning I would have to pay another deposit, plus a month's installment, equating to more than double the expected payment for this month. Ending the call feeling like life wasn't fair, and with a newly acquired, yet irrational hatred for humanity- I decided to sleep on it.
Next morning I called back, and the story had changed. I was now being told the bank informed them the direct debit had been stopped by me, and that the operator I had spoken to the day before was claiming I wanted to end the agreement. BIG FAT LIE. Being the observational type, I began to spot a pattern of contradiction and back tracking. I requested a manager listen to the calls and call me back. In the meantime I called the bank to confirm I was dealing with a case of being mugged off. Guess what? That's right, the direct debit was still active-that was until it was cancelled by co-operative , while I was being told by staff in the very same office that according to the bank I had done it the week before. Then came the call back. I was offered the opportunity to pay over the phone and it would be sorted. The irreversible would be reversed, atoms would be split, mountains moved and oceans drained. The very fabric of time and space would be torn like tissue paper to make the impossible happen... if I went away quietly. I didn't.
After a long phone call from a team manager who, coincidently, sounded exactly the same as the operator I spoke to earlier in the day but with a different name, I was offered a free weeks insurance, a 50 pound cheque, and an apology that came straight out of the "101 ways to go f*#k yourself" handbook, I decided to accept the offer, and get on with my considerably shortened, post-policy renewal life expectancy, providing i was emailed confirmation of our conversation and agreement as a means of cover note. He assured me he was a man of his word. I'm not sure which word he means, but it certainly isn't co-operative as I'm still waiting for it. A good way to ruin a reputable brand is to mug off your customers, these guys are in a league of their own. In the interest of fairness, I hadn't had a single issue with them the entire length of the policy. But in the interest of honesty, i believe it's a well rehearsed scam.
At best, it's a few unprofessional, incompetent employees overseen by inadequate management. At worst, repeated and systemic manipulation and misleading of Customers for profit. Will keep you posted.
Reviewed on: 18th March 2018
