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Jennifer Syrkiewicz

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Review of the first direct, Current Account:

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The Christmas Day Call

I called you every year, on Christmas Day You always answered within three rings And, I fabricated an excuse; I'm phoning because I want a balance, a transfer, but really? I just wanted to say - HI! You are working today! And, I'm sorry, and Merry Christmas, faceless First Direct call handler. For the first few years, I felt smug, as if I had done something worthwhile. But, my partner remarked - What if they are having fun, in the office, with champagne and crackers, and silly hats, and then all of a sudden, a solitary caller comes on the line, and wants them to work? What if you make them sigh, and adjust their paper crown, to log on to your account? Stop doing this. Stop. And so, now when I call, I go through the usual details, and you catch me when I'm overdrawn, and catch others when they use my funds, and we are still getting along very well, and yes, you are my preferred firm, and I do like conversing with Gill from Glasgow, but- I will not call you on Christmas day, this year. It's not that I don't value you, or feel that you are not worthy of my festive wishes, but just on the off-chance my call lights up, and you are part-way between charades and champagne, and curse, I will not be that person, again. Reviewed on: 15th February 2016

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